Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Alternate K6- IMPERFECTLY FINE

NAME: Dannie Morin
MENTOR: Kimberly Chase
TITLE: Imperfectly Fine
GENRE: YA Contemporary
WORD COUNT: 59,000

35 WORD PITCH: Sixteen-year-old Skylar Benson has cystic fibrosis and expects to die before everyone she loves. When she witnesses her rockstar father's murder, she must do the one thing she never expected--survive.

FIRST 250: 
      I'm a "friggin' miracle"
      That's what my dad says. He says so twice tonight. First, as I pin the white stephanotis blossoms to the lapel of his tuxedo, then at the reception during our less-traditional father-daughter dance.
      In Dad's heroin-altered universe, my craptastic lungs, toothpick frame and piss poor immune system make me miraculous. In reality, these are symptoms of cystic fibrosis. My body produces thicker mucus than normal. So I get sick. A lot. And I'll probably die before I'm thirty.
      Miracle, my ass.
      I pluck a gazillion pins out of his bride's hair. Elaborate, blonde curls tumble down the back of Angela's white linen suit. She does a final makeup check in the powder room's mirror before we head back to the reception, so she and dad can make their grand exit. There are rumors of a confetti cannon. Dad likes to put on a good show.
      “Skylar, you're absolutely sure you won’t come to Mexico?” Angela asks.
      I'm stoked for them, but I'm not down with playing third wheel during two weeks of carnal wedded bliss. Cuz that wouldn't be awkward. “You guys deserve a real honeymoon. Just take a ton of pictures, okay?”
      Angela nods, eyes radiant; like she still can’t believe they finally tied the knot. I dab a tear from beneath her eye before it smudges her flawless makeup.
      “C'mon, Mrs. Benson. Your husband is waiting for you.”
Dad shakes his hair out of his eyes, revealing gaping holes in his earlobes where ten-millimeter gauges should be.

3 comments:

  1. This is fantastic!! What a great opening! :)

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  2. Would love to read 3 chapters. Please send it to me in a WORD DOC with the pitch/query letter in the body of the email AND as page 1 of the manuscript. Email: louise@lperkinsagency.com
    Thanks!

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  3. Enjoyed this. Would love to see more. Can you please send the first fifty pages and your query as Word attachments to Melissa.Jeglinski (at)knightagency (dot) net. Please put Pitch Wars Request in the body of the email. Thanks, Melissa Jeglinski of The Knight Agency

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