Wednesday, January 23, 2013


NAME: Naomi Hughes
MENTOR: Danielle Ellison
TITLE: The Shadowed Flame
GENRE: YA Fantasy

PITCH: Being the only male Unicorn Rider--and being in love with his partner--is just the beginning of Jackson’s problems when he discovers the unicorns are keeping a secret that could destroy the world.

FIRST 250:
The worst part about being a Unicorn Rider was that we had to stay pure of body—meaning we were pretty much doomed to eternal virginity. As far as I knew, I wasn’t even allowed to kiss a girl. It didn’t matter anyway. The only girl I wanted to kiss was a rider too, and she’d never leave this lifestyle for me. Even if I tried to steal a kiss—which would be epic—she’d probably deck me for the effort.

“Jackson! Stop staring at me and focus,” came a frustrated hiss from my side. I snapped out of my reverie and shot my partner, Moira, an apologetic grin.

“Sorry. You, uh, had a bug on your face.”

She rolled her eyes and stabbed a finger at the meadow below us.

“Fine, fine.” I scooted forward on my stomach to peer over the rise again. “New monster. Giant worm. Very dangerous. I know.”

“You’re lucky worms don’t have ears, or that thing would’ve eaten you by now.” Moira slung her bow off her back and drew out an arrow, shaking her head.

“For your information, it would not eat me.” I glanced at the forest behind us to watch the oak leaves flutter. Good—the breeze was still carrying our scent away from the creature. “It would take me prisoner. Everyone knows monsters only eat ugly people. I, being charming, handsome, muscular, and hilarious, would merit being kept in a little golden cage at its side to provide entertainment.”

1 comment:

  1. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE!!! Great opening page. Would really like to read the full. Please send it to me in a WORD DOC with the pitch/query letter in the body of the email AND as page 1 of the manuscript. Email: